I can't stop listening....sooo good!

Comfort

Thanks, Mel, for sharing this verse, I've been thinking about it all morning:

Psalm 27:13
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Christianity is not just a ticket into heaven, or a mechanism for saving yourself from hell. It is a chance to witness the goodness of the Lord in this land of the living. To see Him working in our everyday lives and capitvating our hearts.

-Josh

ps - I updated my "currently listening" section on here.

The Resurrection Fern

In our days we will live
Like our ghosts will live:
Pitching glass at the cornfield crows
And folding clothes

Like stubborn boys across the road
We'll keep everything:
Grandma's gun and the black bear claw
That took her dog

When sister Laurie says, "Amen"
We won't hear anything:
The ten-car trains will take that word
That fledgling bird

And the fallen house across the way
It'll keep everything:
The baby's breath
Our bravery wasted and our shame

And we'll undress beside the ashes of the fire
Both our tender bellies wound in baling wire
All the more a pair of underwater pearls
Than the oak tree and its resurrection fern

In our days we will say
What our ghosts will say:
We gave the world what it saw fit
And what'd we get?

Like stubborn boys with big green eyes
We'll see everything:
In the tender shade of the autumn leaves
And the buzzard's wing

And we'll undress beside the ashes of the fire
Our tender bellies are wound around in baling wire
All the more a pair of underwater pearls
Than the oak tree and its resurrection fern

Fattened Heart

I was reading on another blog about a reporter who did an investigation on where the little trinkets in Christian bookstores are produced. Shockingly, they found a few examples of these items that were made by sweat shops.

This sprung the thought in me; I don’t investigate where any of my belongings are made and what conditions are provided to those employees. I know, I know, this issue seems like one of those hopeless “never going to change” subjects. In my head, I think “Well at least these poor people have a job; they could be making nothing at all versus pennies per month”. That mentality doesn’t really improve anything though. It’s a stagnant way of thinking and not progressive at all.

Obviously, this issue extends past Christians, but as a believer, I think we are called to social justice. Consider this verse:

James 5:1-6: Come now, you rich people, weep and wail for the miseries that are coming to you. Your riches have rotted, and your clothes are moth eaten. Your gold and silver have rusted, and their rust will be evidence against you, and it will eat your flesh like fire. You have laid up treasure for the last days. Listen! The wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. You have lived on the earth in luxury and in pleasure; you have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the righteous one, who does not resist you.

I am sure that my closets are filled with clothing that was produced by a child who had to work a 14 hour day. That makes me a hypocrite. I think it’s time to start moving forward and thinking about these kinds of things. The world is much bigger than my comfy life here in the United States.

Interview

I interviewed my friend, Jeremy Ritch off hxcboards. He is a pastor in PA that leads a really interesting life. Hopefully you enjoy!

1. Tell me about your family, life and the area you live in
That is a big questionI was born in 1975 in Cleveland Ohio, I have two brothers. We lived in Richfield OH until my father and mother divorced when I was 7. After my mom remarried we moved to Cleveland where I would live until I was 20. I grew up in a rough neighborhood and was involved in many extra curricular activities that got me in trouble. I played in bands and was active in the punk & hardcore scenes. I used a lot of drugs and drank a ton of booze, and eventually sold drugs. I lost a lot of friends and by 18 I was burnt out. After i got clean I enrolled at the U of Toledo and had a rough year there. I was kicked out of a Campus Ministry for being a bad influence. I eventually transferred to Eastern university in St Davids PA where i would stay a year and a half before being kicked out. During my time at Eastern I worked with the simple way community and started a band called Stag Thicket. I also drank myself silly. Once I was free of school I lived in various forms of housing around Philadelphia. In 1999 I joined a band called Double Down that was pretty awful psychobilly. Then after the band dissolved and became Mercury Radio Theater I started a booking management company with a friend. We had a good roster and it lasted a few years before I left to pursue ministry. I met my future wife in 2000 and started running Revolution Philly. I booked shows,did bibles studies, took kids to rehab and all kinds of fun stuff. In 2002 I was married and moved to Atlanta where I worked for Revolution and booked a lot of shows. I left Revolution in 2003 to start an ill fated Recording label. In 05 I started a media company called Floating Boy Media in Philly that does a lot of live Hardcore videos. In 05 I moved back to Ohio for 6 months before taking a job with Hope For The Rejected as a pastoring Harrisburg PA. I stayed with them until fall of 06 when I started One Church Ministries. That is where I am now.
very cool.

2. What is your vision for one church?
Right now we are meeting once a week for bible study. My vision is to get a store front or building to use as a community art space/performance space. There is a guy who is considering partnering with me to start a coffee house. I would like to not only be a ministry to hurting Christians and non Christians alike but also provide a place in Harrisburg for people to create art and express themselves through music. this will not be some cheesy Christian thing either. The art and music will be uncensored and not based on faith at all. The bible studies and other outreach will contain the faith aspects.

3. What are your thoughts on modern day church life, and how do you think it has gotten off track from what the original church looked like?
Well I think modern American church culture is nothing like Christ had spoke about. It has become a politically charged, materialistic and consumer based culture. The focus is mainly on building bigger and more high tech churches. Attracting as many people as possible to "grow" the church body. There is little emphasis on the poor, the needy and on just loving people. I am not sure how the early church was but i can imagine it was not like this. The politics are outrageous. We have Church leaders who endorse and even campaign for political figures. There is so much legalism as well in many churches that has driven thousands to agnostism, atheism and just a state of confusion. I hope that the church will return to a message of compassion, love and grace before it just destroys itself through infighting, denominational wars and just a lack of community. There are so many hurting people in the world but why should they follow a faith that is represented by a bunch of assholes with power complexes. It is sad that my friends who are gay, divorced, ex addicts, tattooed, ex cons, or just don't fit the mold who actually want to be Christians but are to angry or intimidated by it.

very true, seems like we have built up this "industrial strength Christianity" that is not open to question or thought, just the blind leading the blind. ok, I don't want to just harp on Christianity.

4. You were in a wide array of bands, as well as the business side of music. What do you think about the future of the music industry, are you hopeful? Do you think it's getting washed out?Well I have always played in punk & Hardcore bands up until my latest countryish thing. So I have always had a more DIY approach. I think the music industry is in real trouble from a corporate stand point. The companies are now run by business people not music people. They are producing records that sell and are cookie cutter types. Jobs are few and last only a few years so many talented people don't want to risk it. The hope I see is in the DIY movement which has moved from 4-track recordings and paper zines to quality MP3 recordings and internet promotion. I have worked with many bands and seen the mistakes that were made by signing their lives to a label it almost always ends in disaster. The ones that make it and do well tend to do things their own way. by releasing their own music and keeping the creativity going.It should be about more than money
agreed. 5. Hxcboards has a majority of late teens, early 20 something’s. As someone who is a bit older, do you have any advice for them?
hmmmmm, support local bands and stop comparing everything to bands from 15-20 years ago. I satrted going to shows in 1989ish and I have seen a lot of these “legendary" bands. The thing is they weren't anything back then but another band coming through. They stick out now because of what they did or what the represented. There are good bands still out there doing fantastic music. The problem is kids are fixated on being scholars of hardcore, having to download every band that ever existed to show they are the most HXC of them all. It is stupid. The bands now are only different because they weren't the first to do it. Hardcore is a young music form, it is only around 30 years old. There is more that can be done but people have to stay creative and stop living in the past. Be influenced by your roots but don't just copy cat and wish you were born 20 years earlier. love what ya got now because time flies. I would love to see more bands saying something, anything, just speak your mind and make people listen. My main complaint now adays is no one is saying anything meaningful in Hardcore

6. what are some modern bands that you think are doing something unique/impactful?
hmmm I haven't stayed up on things too much as far as hardcore. There is not many political or even socially conscience bands that come to mind. I mean guys like Paint it Black always have something to say. There is a band around here called Steel Nation who are not that impactful but they are intelligent. I mean I really haven’t seen many bands that are really challenging kids. I am also not as active as I once was. I just think there is a mentality now of start a band, record, tour and get signed. That is not what hardcore used to be about.

ok, I’m going to switch gears again. 7. I know you live a fairly simple life as far as money/lifestyle goes, how do you think one makes that transition, and what are the obstacles you face?
Well first you have to look realistically at your situation. Me and my wife make far less then most people do, because we work in the non profit sector. Our combined income is under 25k but we have everything we need. We budget our money, we do not use credit cards and we do not buy what we don't need. Both of us grew up poor and were used to not having the latest and greatest stuff so that helps. I mean you have to look at what you need before you buy what you want. Food, shelter and all that come first. I have never had money and my family growing up was poor. Now my mom and step dad have some money but it is because my step father worked his way there. He started as a low paid locksmith and after 15 years he bought the company from his boss who was retiring. Now he has owned it for 10 years and is doing ok. Not rich but they are able to finally have some things they never could. I guess it all comes down to what are your needs and what are you willing to sacrifice in order to live. I mean a lot of people I know make more than me by a lot but are in debt, struggling and just can't get by. It boiled down to them spending more than they make. They don't need the stuff they bought they simply wanted it and it is costing them.

8. I recently read an article about a couple who have 7 kids and make a total of 35k per year. Are you and your wife planning on having kids, how would this effect your current lifestyle?

We are not planning on having kids. Partly because of financial reasons. I grew up poor and in my neighborhood i saw so many lives ruined because of money. I saw so many friends get people pregnant and it ruined those kids. They grew up with nothing because there parents just kept having babies and not taking care of them. I have seen people lose homes because they have too many children. The thing that pisses me off about this is when these pro lifes get all up in arms about abortions and yet what are they doing to help. They act like girls are just lining up to get em, but where I grew up they were having babies not killing em. If some of these pro life people would start adopting these kids and not reproducing themselves like rabbits maybe we could help this problem. I mean a big part of pro life beliefs is to not use birth control and let what happens happen. that is pretty jacked up thinking.

We won't get into the abortion discussion, because I only have 2 questions left, but. 9. As far as over-population crisis goes, what do you think are the causes of this, and what do you think is a cure?
I think it is caused by many things. Poverty, Religious views, Greed, Lack of education, and a disregard for responsibility. The cure? I have no idea. wrapped that shit up!

haha!Ok, I have really enjoyed this interview, thanks again, here's my last question. 10. You are on an island by yourself, "cast away" style. You can only take 5 things with you, what do you bring and why?
1. flint - start a fire
2. my wife -I needsomeone to talk to
3. rope - ya always need rope
4. A hoodie- it can get cold
5. my bible - it is a good book and i haven'tquite understood it all yet
my wife should be #1
haha, i won't tell her.: good interview man. thanks!
you are welcome

Best of 2007!

Ok, I went through my ipod and figured out which 2007 releases got the most playtime this year, enjoy!

Radiohead – In Rainbows
Travis – The Boy With No Name
Jimmy Eat World – Chase this Light
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Baby 81
Explosions in the Sky – All the Sudden, I Miss Everyone
Wilco – Sky, Blue Sky
Rocky Votolato – The Bragg & Cuss
Iron & Wine – the Shepherd’s Dog
Bruce Springsteen – Devils & Dust
Caspian – The Four Trees
Ryan Adams – Easy Tiger
Nick Drake – Family Tree
Earth – Hibernaculum
Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
God is an Astronaut – Far From Refuge
Jade Day – Of Waking…
Jeremy Enigk – The Missing Link
Matt Pond PA – Last Light
The National – Boxer
Pinback – Autumn of the Seraphs
Pissed Jeans – Hope for Men
Rosie Thomas – These Friends of Mine
Sigur Ros – Heim/Hvarf
The Six Parts Seven – Casually Smashed to Pieces
The smashing Pumpkins – Zeitegeist
Stars – In Our Bedroom, After the War
This Will Destroy You – s/t
The Weakerthans – Reunion Tour
Wolves in the Throne Room – Two Hunters
Youth Group – Casino Twilight Dogs
Zozobra – Harmonic Tremors
65daysofstatic – Destruction of Small Ideas

rock+roll

What a great weekend. I had the pleasure of helping out at “Lost 2007”, my church’s winter youth retreat. I must say, I was ministered to a lot. I really felt some things come to the surface that God is dealing with in my heart. I am excited to see what the future holds!

I am weak in this need for you...

“Come to me, come to me all you sick and weary”
“Come to me, come to me and I will make you whole”

There’s a place that is brighter than the sun, and deeper than the darkest sea. Where the fields roll into the west and my mind can feel some rest. I am so weak in this need for You. My heart is green, fertile with life and ready for autumn’s harvest.

Rot away, oh fence posts of my past. The sand that the wind moves will wear you down. Seeing you go is hard, the barbs wrapped around your width are exposed. Rusting metal has its hold on something that no longer contains me.

Send me out into the rain my Lord. Pour out the globes of water onto my brow. Let the remnants run through my beard, onto my chest and to my feet. Cleanse the very ground I stand on so that flowers may bloom and fields grow.

The past is a different world.

Well I would say that thanksgiving was a success. It was such a healing/rejuvenating experience to be with my family. I spent Wednesday-Thursday with my parents, my Uncle Luke, my Uncle Stan and their spouses in Omaha, NB. During the drive eastward, I had a lot of time to gather my thoughts and listen to some great music. I got into my uncle’s home and gave my parents a big hug followed by my extended family. We sat around and talked and got all caught up. The next morning, we had a big breakfast and watched football. At 4, we had our Thanksgiving dinner. The highlight of the meal was the Lefsa. I haven’t had that in a few years, and I deeply missed it!

The peak of my time in Nebraska was Thursday evening. We all sat in the living room as I listened to my mom and her brothers reminisce about the past. Stories of the life on a family-farm, stories about my grandfather I never met, and tales of early marriage life. After that, my mom suggested we sing some songs around the piano. My aunt Sharon mounted the bench, and with soft fingers began hammering the ivory keys to the tune of old Lutheran hymns and classic Christmas tunes. The air was thick with jovial melodies and love.

After the singing, we all sat down again, and my uncle Luke asked if he could read us a story he had been working on. He clarified that it was a telling of how my uncle Philipp died when he was 21. My ears burned with anticipation. I had never been brave enough to ask my mother the details about his death, because I could see the pain behind her eyes when we spoke of him. Luke, with his rumbling voice, started reading aloud as gingerly as he could, holding back the tears. His story was very concise and detailed, and beautifully written. I felt such a range of emotions. I could sense that it was a healing experience for my mother, and Uncle Stan.

I drove home feeling so much love and so much frustration. I felt as if I truly had a family to be proud of, but also felt selfish in my own life. I make things into these big ordeals, when truly I haven’t been through hardship. I am blessed, and I choose to focus on that. I think this was one of the first Thanksgivings where I really truly felt thankful. I also feel like I have a better sense of what matters in life, and what kind of legacy I want to leave this earth with.

Anyway, happy holidays to all my beloved friends! I love you all.

-Josh

Capitalism

Wow, 3 posts in 2 days! I am on a blog-roll!

Found this quote courtesy of Ms. Melissa Miles. Kind of interesting.

Kevin Barnes (from of Montreal):
"The thing is, I like capitalism. I think it's an interesting challenge. It's a system that rewards the imaginative and ambitious adults and punishes the lazy adults. Our generation is insanely lazy. We're just as smart as our parents but we are overwhelmed by contradicting ideas that confuse us into paralysis. Maybe the punk rock ethos made sense for the "no future" generation but it doesn't make sense for me. I like producing and purchasing things. I'd much rather go to IKEA than to stand in some bread line. That's because I don't have to stand in a bread line. Most people who throw around terms like "sellout" don't have to stand in one either. They don't have to stand in one because they are gainfully employed. The term "sellout" only exists in the lexicon of the over-privileged. Almost every non-homeless person in America is over-privileged, at least in a global sense. "

Open wide my door, My Lord, My Lord.

Sometimes I fear that I hold things back in my blog because I realize other people read it. The whole reason I started blogging was to have an online journal where I could let my thoughts out and look back on them. Now I have all these different friends with different viewpoints and I fear offending all of them. I am going to stop caring about that. Whether what I write if wrong or right, I have to be honest with what I am feeling at that moment.

I have started reading Acts on the light rail on my way to/from work. I feel so full of love this morning. To paraphrase one of the verses I read this morning, “You crucified me, and I offered forgiveness”. In the church, we always talk about forgiveness in the sense of forgiving others, which is extremely powerful. However, I think God calls us to remember daily that we are forgiven for our own transgressions, and that there is liberty in that. We need to walk this earth freely, and not feel like we are constantly paying off some sort of debt. It seems like a lot of critics look at Christianity like this condemning religion where you are made to feel bad about everything you do. I feel the opposite. Christianity is freedom. It’s coming to the enlightenment that you are loved and forgiven, therefore you can be free to love and forgive others. There are no preset expectations, just love. I sound like such a hippy right now, but I can’t contain the feeling in me. These basic truths are so hard for me to comprehend sometimes, so when I feel it in my heart, I get real excited.

Anyway, love ya all.

-Josh

Intense.

I read this on another blog, and was dumbfounded by it.

"The 2006 budget showed that US military expenditures were twenty-one times larger than diplomacy and foreign aid combined, and that the United States was dead last among the most developed nations in foreign aid as a percentage of gross domestic product. One wonders what would happen if good-hearted Americans realized that a mere 10 percent of the US military budget, if reinvested in foreign aid and development, could care for the basic needs of the entire world's poor. Or if they realized that one-half of 1 percent of the US military budget would cut hunger in Africa in half by 2015. Would there be marches in the streets calling for budgetary reform?"

You have new Picture Mail!

Pwned

You're Streets are gettin empty, and your highways filled.

I woke up this morning feeling kind of cynical on life and just down in general. We all have those times. Anyway, I just wanted to comment on how healing music is sometimes. I am listening to Bob Dylan’ “Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan” and it just feels cleansing for some reason. There is this pain and angst that I can hear in this recording that just releases something inside of me for some reason. It is interesting how you can connect to God, nature, the world, people and everything else through someone else’s art. Why? Because art is made from pain, emotion and past experience.

Everybody Says I'm Mexican.

Do actions by another person define relationship status? I have friends that I consider close, but then they do things to themselves that make it hard for me to engage in that relationship. My feelings towards that person are still the same, but I feel like it’s impossible for me to support them, thus distancing me. I don’t really feel like getting into specifics, but I am sad at the fact that I can foresee some of my closest friendships coming to an end, and there is nothing I can do about it. Has anyone else ever gone through situations like this? Thoughts/Suggestions?

Sorry for the negative post, just getting my thoughts down.

Here is an interesting article about how a U.S. troop gained conscientious objector status.

I am still learning about pacifism, christianity and what it all means to me. Stories really like this really perk my interst.

Healthy Dialogue

Yet again, I have added a new blog to my links. It is called Resistance is Ruin. It is a dialogue from multiple people with different viewpoints concerning modern Christianity, Pacifism, War and government. I found it really interesting, and it got my brain pumping!

In other news, the new Radiohead is just insanely good. I am on my 4 th listen-through and it's blowing my mind. I will write a proper review once I have digested it a bit more.
Cheers,
Josh

How is it possible to have this much hair?

Life

I added a new url to my links section, Runaway Planet: Abortion.

Sorry to those of you who disagree with me, but I think abortion is wrong. I realize with a lot of the "educated community" that seems to make me inferior or something. Anyway, it's a really informative blog, and I figured others might enjoy it.

Thanks to Timothy at the anathallo boards for the link.

Cheers,
Josh

Is there hope for the broken?

I just recently read this article and it really bothered me. Whatever your stance is on immigration and the illegal workforce, this is really sad. Why not just back-tax him and send him on his way? A little compassion and care would be nice.

I love lazy days. It has been a long time since I have truly had one. Here was I did yesterday:

-Went to church
-Grabbed some groceries on the way home
-Napped as Dave and Caleb beat Halo 3
-Watched Swing Kids
-Watched (2) Law & Order episodes
-Watched a documentary on some famous architect (courtesy of PBS)

Hell ya!

Up-keep

If you haven't noticed, all of my links and currently listening sections are regularly being edited. Let me know if I am missing anyone in my links!

Thanks,

Josh

ps, best picture ever:

This Sad and Holy Glow

I feel swallowed up by finances. I made some poor decisions, and now I am going to have to get by without money for a bit. I am not making this entry to complain or anything, just observe how much money can strangle people. It is ridiculous that I feel so numb, belittled and hopeless with out have a few green bills in my pocket. I know that God has a better life for us than what I am living right now, but in a way I think this is also teaching me a lesson. When I get back on my feet, I plan on giving myself a cash allowance every week and saving all of my excess. It is time to be completely out of debt and restore the control over my life. I honestly feel beat up right now, but I know that I am going to come out of this with a greater understanding of life and myself.

I saw it in the eyes of the checkout girl -
that sad and holy glow every blue-collar knows,
like the lit windows on my childhood street
where the deep, dark secrets of the family are kept.
Beneath the mire and stench of growing debt,
the deep, dark secrets of the family are kept.
Credit is a whore who won't wake up and leave,
but believe me I'm not sleeping with her anymore.
I don't want to be a slave, I just want to be free
and honestly I'm sick and tired of people chasing me

Rock N' Roll

It’s amazing how God uses places and people I wouldn’t imagine to speak to me. On Wednesday night, I went to ORCC’s Catalyst Youth Group to support Mark and Judi as they led the worship. I must say it was so encouraging to be around all of these kids and partake in their energy and excitement. M&J did a stellar job leading the music, and the sound was great! Hopefully I will be able to help them some day musically. The new Catalyst facility is extremely nice. I was rather impressed that they sunk so much money into the next generation.

The Prayer of Saint Francis

I read this on another blog run by my friend Jeremy. I found it encouraging and challenging:


Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Block by block, drain by drain, light by light. I walk these streets gazing at the fake empires built by the rich as the hungry camp at their footsteps. I am looking for an omen as to what’s next but sometimes that seems bleak. I want to thirst for righteousness, yet my appetite is satisfied by refuse. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” – this sentence becomes more and more true daily. I want a pure heart that finds rest and solace in the simple pleasures of our Adonai. I will not find an eternal pleasure in the concrete and paper of this world. Our creator resides in the same purity that exists in that man with the dirty shirt, wondering when his next meal will be.


(I have been writing a lot of random thoughts like this just off the top of my head, hopefully you subscribers don't mind.)

Off-beat

The next few weeks are my favorite of the year, that transition from summer to fall. There is briskness in the air and a certain unpronounced energy about. I don’t understand it, but it is consistently satisfying. As I pedal through the city’s cracked streets I feel like I am part of something big. Business women and crust punks all look anxious and ready. My muscles and joints ache from movement, but the cadence of this time of year is contagious and addictive, maybe even vindictive? Maybe this season sparks action. Maybe I will speak to the black school teacher I see on the train every day. Maybe I will pray with Cyndi in the cube next to me for her upcoming surgery. Maybe I will get off my spiritual ass and engage!

My bike is done!

So this past month or so, I have been obsessed with researching and looking for bike stuff on Craig's List. I finally got everything together I need and assembled it all this weekend. Enjoy:

Specs (in general terms):

1985(ish) Trek Road frame, 54cm (ish)

Vuelta XRP Team Superlight Wheel Set

Formula Hub

Brooks Saddle

This thing has been a blast to ride. I went approximately 10 miles on saturday and 5 yesterday. Since I ride my bike to work every day, it's nice having a fast bike that is sweet looking and comfy. It was such a sense of accomplishment when I put it all together and troubleshooted. This is just another tool in my weight loss / healthy lifestyle!

New to it all...

I had the privilege of going to Rose Medical Center last night and holding the smallest human being my arms have ever held! Jonas and Tiffany had their beautiful little girl at 2am yesterday morning. Isabella is gorgeous and perfect, and she has her Uncle Mark’s hook toe! I am really excited to see her grow up and become a wonderful woman. Christian and Taylor are going to have their work cut out for them, they need to get her caught up on wedgie wars, wii tennis and sparkler bombs!

Today was the first day in over a week I haven’t ridden the RTD Light-rail into work and biked. It was weird making it to work in 20 minutes in my car, I feel like a slacker. Don’t fear though, I will be hitting the gym over my lunch break, so all is not lost!

Last night, I went to a small group bible study. It was really interesting. I have never really gone to anything like that without knowing anyone in the group. I walked into the person’s house and literally knew no one. I think it was good for me to step out of my comfort zone and meet some different kind of people. The study is going through the book of Matthew and discussing it. We did chapters 1-2 last night, so it was nice joining the group as they were starting a new book.

I have to say, this new healthy lifestyle feels really really good!

...

I am almost done with my first week of healthy living! I have been eating all natural, healthy foods. I have also been biking into work on my new fixed gear bicycle that I got off craigslist for $75! (see picture below). Next week, I am going to start working out in our company gym over lunch breaks. It feels really good being healthy. I am not even looking at it as a “diet”, it’s just the new me. I am excited to start going up into the mountains and hiking more.

I have felt really quiet and reserved lately for some reason. I am not sure why. I have been perfectly happy and content, just not as “out there” as I usually am for some reason. I am completely fine with this.

I think Mark, Hoshi and I are hanging tonight. Ruckus will ensue.

Interesting post from Hxcboards

"Mark 1035Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. "Teacher," they said, "we want you to do for us whatever we ask."36"What do you want me to do for you?" he asked.37They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory."38"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said. "Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?"39"We can," they answered. Jesus said to them, "You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, 40but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared."41When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. 42Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

This narrative occurs in the same chapter where Jesus had encountered the rich young ruler who wanted to know the way to eternal life. At this point, James and John had still misunderstood what Jesus' entire ministry was about. They were still looking for greatness and recognition, but as He responded to them rightfully "you don't know what you are asking." There is a special significance here. At this point of the Markan story (indeed, up until the end itself), the disciples had not managed to grasp exactly what sort of fate awaited Jesus and those who followed Him. They had only recently recognised that He was the Messiah (Chapter 8), but were probably still stuck in the Jewish idea that He would be exalted in the nation and taken in glory. James and John request to be at His "left and right." What they didn't know, however, was that the people who were going to be on Jesus' "left and right" were the thieves/insurrectionists crucified with Him. His followers still hadn't understood at this point what the cost of their discipleship was, nor what was the way of it. As He tells them at the end of this narrative, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."What this implies, within the context of the passage, is that true greatness is found in servitude. Very similarly to Jesus' encounter with the rich man in the same chapter, this is a lesson that one must be prepared to give up everything for the sake of others in order to find true riches. Even after Jesus had told them of how nigh-impossible it is for the wealthy to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, His disciples were still seeking greatness and power. What they needed to learn (and what many of us still need to learn today) is that true power is not found in seeking the kind of greatness the world knows, the kind of greatness found amongst lords and rulers, but rather it lies in servitude. Jesus links His "ransom," His sacrifice, to exactly that which He expects of His followers; to lay down everything for the service of all humanity. This is at the heart of revolutionary Christianity; that all humanity is our master and also our slave. How is that for egalitarianism?And of course, we get the spiritual aspect of this teaching once again, since Jesus relates it to His crucifixion and His own service to the whole of mankind. Once again, the social ethic remains inseparable from the spiritual ethic.

Eat Your Heart Out, Paris

As I was lying in bed last night, I was tossing and turning. My thoughts were racing through my head like a chase scene in James Bond. The feeling of discontent was sinking and sinking in my skin. I think the time has finally come to “detoxify” myself in the spiritual, relational, and physical sense. I feel like I constantly stuff my self with the un-needed. Like a Thanksgiving turkey, I’m bursting at the seems with no direction. I feel like in many ways, I have lost sight of my goals, so it’s time to strip back and gain focus.

Women and Children First.

I am sitting here at my new desk, listening to Kid A on headphones and writing my first blog in a long time! I am sorry for my lack of contribution to this thing, but oh well, that is all in the past, right?

The job is going really well. This is my first week on the real sales floor. My mind has been flooded with information, and it’s hard to sleep at night when my brain is still running at a million miles per hour. I couldn’t be more grateful for this job. I feel invigorated and at home here. Everyone is very nice and fairly drama-free.

Caleb and I are going to the Red Rocks Amphitheatre to see Ryan Adams tonight. I am very excited! I have only recently gotten into Adams (I know, I’m behind!). His new album, Easy Tiger, has been in constant rotation for me since it came out.

Speaking of Caleb, he is back in town for a month or so. He has been working for his dad and a lawn care company to save up some money. He is staying in Dave and my apartment, and it has been great! I missed that little bugger, so it’s cool having him around.

I have been really anxious to write lately. I want to get together with Mark and get some stuff down. I really think there is too much material in us to just be content in not writing. At this point, I couldn’t care less about recording, gear or surroundings. I just want to sit down with an instrument and make some art.

You have new Picture Mail!

Hell Ya!

I am a bad ass salesman! I think I just made my first sale, we'll see!

Thanks + Crazy

Thanks to Jonas for sending me the cigars and Travis cd. I smoked the last one in the evening yesterday. It was a Fuente Work of Art, I smoked it down to the nub...so good.

So I have been on this message board called "hxc boards" since I was in 9th grade of high school. The guy in the picture above is from that board! It's weird how the internet brings people together.

I have 4 days left in my initial training here in Seattle. It has been a great experience so far, but I am very excited to sleep in my own bed and see my friends that I miss so much!

So I have been hanging out with my friend, Abbey over the past two weekends. She is a super nice girl and it’s been great to have someone familiar to hang with in this big city. She is really good at engaging my mind when we talk and making me think about things. The other night we made a fort and watched Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Anyway, if you are reading this, thanks for being a friend!

Abbey had a dream that consisted of her nailing herself into a coffin and sending it off to sea so that she could show her grandmother how to die. How song/poem-worthy is that!? I wish I had cool dreams.

Anyway, I will be seeing my friends this weekend so plan some Josh-time!

Be my memory

I need to apologize for slacking on my blog the past few weeks. A lot has changed and I am excited to write about it!

First off, I have started a new job with Dex Media as a sales rep in advertising. It is a really good opportunity for me to make some money and possibly start a career. I still plan on pursuing missions work and ministry, but I think this experience is going to aid me in all of that.

As a result of the new job, I am in Seattle, WA for training. The total training program is 7 weeks! I am here on the initial training for 3 weeks, and then I go home for the week of July 4th. After that break, I come back to Seattle for another 3 weeks to do “Field Sales Training”. It is pretty hard being away from home for this long, but I think it’s good for me to hit the ground running!

This break has given me a great opportunity to get away and gain some focus. I have quit smoking (I was starting to get dangerously close to addiction), I have been reading the bible and books on theology every day. I feel like I am gaining some drive and momentum towards the person I truly want to be. I think this job is going to put me in a good financial position to hit the mission field (i.e. Music, overseas, other churches, etc.)

I have been reading this book called “Irresistible Revolution”. It has really opened my eyes to missional living and simplicity. I would highly recommend it. I will forewarn you, it is pretty liberal oriented, so if you are conservative you might need to ignore some comments.

I will try to be more consistent in blogging! I suck at life haha.


Ps. How sick is my new bike!? (see entry below) My buddy John helped me get it all restored. It’s a 1966 Raleigh, it still has the original headlight and it works! (via generator on the front wheel)

You have new Picture Mail!

Bjork!

I had the privilege of seeing Bjork perform last night at the Red Rocks Amphitheatre.

Setting: It was a misty cool evening, but really the weather was perfect and provided a nice relief to the heat Denver has faced the past few weeks. The crowd was jovial and happy, yet still contemplative and very respectful to the music.

Opener: Joanna Newsom opened the show. She is a folk singer whose main instrument is the harp. She also has a violinist, a banjo player and a percussionist. I have heard her latest cd a few times, and frankly was not impressed. She just seemed like such a try-hard with her awkward/over the top voice. I must say, my impression of her was slightly raised after seeing her live. Musically she is fantastic. Her musicianship on the harp, and every other musician on stage was fantastic. I still, however, do not like her voice, and I thought it was distracting.

Bjork: Now for the main attraction! As she took the stage, her band consisted of an 8 piece horn section (all dressed in brightly colored clown-like costumes), a drummer, a sequencer, a DJ and a pianist. The stage was covered in flags and television screens. The sequencer and DJ both used very visual controls for ring modulation and program selection; it was hard to explain with out seeing it yourself. Quite simply, Bjork blew my mind. I wouldn’t say it was the best show I have ever seen, simply because I don’t have the same emotional connection to her music as I do with other bands. I will say, however, that this was the best sounding show I have ever been to. The natural reverb of Red Rocks seemed to just love her voice. I could not believe how loud it was for an outside show. I can see why Bjork has been playing for so long. She is just way to talented to be ignored. Bjork played a mix of songs. Mainly off the newest album, Volta. She did also play songs off pretty much every other album, even Medulla (with some musical accompaniment). Her set lasted for approximately and hour and a half, and had one encore. I felt very privileged to witness a show of this caliber. I have heard she is only playing 13 shows here in her North American tour. If you ever have a chance to witness the wonder that is Bjork, DO IT!

(crappy camera phone pic)

Peace like a River...

My mom just called me 10 minutes ago and informed me that Amy Fosholm passed away. Amy was a lady that lived with my family for a period of 8 years back when I lived in North Dakota. She was one of the godliest women I have ever come across. I would dare say that I probably wouldn’t be a Christian today had I not seen and experienced the love of God that was so evident on Amy. She used to sit in her room for hours up hours praying and interceding for people. I can still remember being a 6 year old sitting in her lap and praying together. Even after she moved out, she would write me letters with prayers and words of encouragement for me.

Amy was well into her 90’s and her health had rapidly depleted in the past year, so this death was not overly unexpected. Either way, it hits me hard. What will my legacy be? I desperately want to love people in the same way that Amy did. In some ways, her death re-ignites a flame in me.

Amy, you will be missed.

If you think about it, please pray for Amy and her family. I know she is in a much better place right now.

(past blog I made about Amy)

Top 5 Vehicular Music Annoyances

Okay, so I was reading over Sean Brage's blog, and I got inspired to list my top 5 musical annoyances when it comes to listening in the car. (I was probably guilty of these at some point)

1. Constant song switching. Most of the girls I know are guilty of this. They listen to 15 seconds of a song, then switch it. I literally want to end it all when this reoccurs. (This is one I am mildly guilty of, but pretty much only when I drive in the car with Jonas and Mark)

2. Playing any form of hardcore after a loud show. The scenario: We just get done seeing Converge play at 140 decibels for 2 hours, I get in the car, and my buddy throws on Municipal Waste with the volume cranked. When this happens, I feel like putting my appendages in a wood chipper and sawing my ears off. After shows, it's either mellow music or nothing.

3. When people feel awkward by just listening to music in the car. If I am familiar with you, and comfortable, I don't feel the need to fill the air with words. I hate it when the music is constantly being turned down just to say some asinine thing that doesn't matter. Sometimes, it's best to just stay silent.

4. I am pretty good about appreciating other people's taste in music. I will admit that sometimes I get annoyed when I have to listen to certain bands for a long trip. I would list bands that fall into this category, but I think the list might be longer than the bible.

5. Over-controlling car DJs. I realize with this entry, I probably seem like a music nazi in my car, but I am not. I usually let my passenger choose the soundtrack for our journey. However, I H-A-T-E it when people are over-zealous with their DJ responsibilities. If you are in my car don't assume that everyone wants to listen to what you do. I will totally sit on your face a use it as toilet paper if this continues.

The end.

Love

I apologize for my lack of blogging lately. Honestly, I think I am going through a time where I am sick of “talking” and ready to start “doing”.

I am extremely excited about this summer.

Interesting Quote

"Search for Truth is search for God. Truth is God. God is, because Truth is. We embark upon the search, because we believe that there is Truth and that it can be found by diligent search and meticulous observance of the well-known and well-tried rules of search. There is no record in history of the failure of such search. Even the atheists who have pretended to disbelieve in God have believed in Truth. The trick they have performed is that of giving God another, not a new, name. His names are legion. Truth is the crown of them all."

- Mahatma Gandhi.

Pictures of my new apartment!

When it comes to you, I'm lazy.

On Monday, I went into the little café next door to my office, and the snow was just pouring down. It was really surreal, because the snow was dumping down, but none of it was sticking. It felt chaotic to me and invigorating.

It seems like life has really slowed down this week, which I am elated about. Last night, I watched the Nuggets play like ass and lose! Then I went home, folded my laundry, and watched the Danielson documentary: Danielson: A Family Movie. I was extremely impressed by this film. It goes through their entire career and really involves the viewer in the story. They are such an inspirational family. They make some of the most obscure sounding music ever, yet their hearts and attitudes are completely sincere and simple. They honestly just want to honor God with their music, and this is the sound that comes from them. I find that to be super interesting and beautiful.

This weekend is going to be quite busy! On Saturday, I am going to watch the Nuggets stomp the Spurs at the Pepsi Center. I am especially excited about this because it’s the first time I have ever gone to a playoff game. Directly after the game, I am going to walk across the street and watch Bright Eyes at the Buell Theatre. I am anticipating this show quite a bit. I really love his new album, Cassadaga.

PS – Last night I started writing some acoustic music for fun. I have been using a 1970’s tape recorder from Montgomery Wards. It sounds like total garbage, but it kind of has warmth to it. Regardless of sound quality, it’s really convenient for getting my ideas down.

I don't know how I feel about this:

LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) -- Get ready for "Spider-Man: The Broadway Musical."

That may not be the official title, but Marvel Studios is putting the pieces together for a musical on the Great White Way starring the popular superhero.

Julie Taymor, who won Tonys for direction and costume design for the Broadway production of "The Lion King," will direct, with U2's Bono and the Edge creating new music and lyrics for the project.

Auditions are taking place, and a reading is scheduled for the summer. No dates for a Broadway opening have been set.

While the Spider-Man musical marks the first time a Marvel character has been the subject of a Broadway show, it's not the first time a superhero has hit the stage. Superman was in the spotlight of "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman," which opened at the Alvin Theatre in 1966. Despite fairly positive reviews, it closed a few months later.

Spider-Man will next be seen on the big screen, when the third installment of the blockbuster franchise opens across North America on May 4.

Copyright 2007


from cnn.com

SIIIIIIIQ!

So I was hanging out at my church last night, and DJ, our worship leader approached me about playing bass this weekend for all 4 main services. I agreed, and we had practice. It was really interesting playing with in-ear monitoring, I have never done it before, and it was a nice luxury! The coolest part about the whole ordeal was this: I get to play a 1964 Fender P-bass! This is pretty much my dream guitar, and the guy who owns it was completely happy to let me use it for practice and the services. The bass played like a dream. It is heavily modded, but that vintage mojo is still there. I am really excited to play in front of thousands of people this weekend!

Rad picture message!

My Evening

Last night, Caleb and I watched High Fidelity, Made dinner, and ate the best ice-cream on earth. Seriously, why haven't people thought to make carrot cake flavored ice-cream sooner? I am pretty sure this stuff is going to take over the world.

PS - High Fidelity is the best movie of all time!

Good Friday

It is a wet, overcast, dreary day outside today. I drove into work this morning listening to Young Mountain by This Will Destroy You as I reflected on the meaning of Good Friday, and its personal relevance to me. It really is emotional to think about the price our heavenly father paid for our redemption.

Tonight at bible study we are going to watch The Passion of the Christ. The last time I viewed this film, I was alone in my apartment with a glass of wine, so it will be interesting to watch it with others. I hope I am able to open up and let it sink in, because sometimes I get really distracted by people around me.

Moved in!

We got all moved in yesterday! What a task! I am so sore today it’s unreal. We should be all unpacked and settled in by the weekend. I am so excited to be living downtown. I love the atmosphere. I will post pictures of our apartment as soon as it’s all set up.

Relaxing Lunch

I think my favorite lunch breaks are when Jonas and I go to the Robusto Room. It is so relaxing to just sit there in the nice leather couches and enjoy a stogie.

The Most Bitchingly Fast Bike Ever!

Well, these past few weeks have been insanely busy. Dave and I will be officially moved into our new place on Wednesday this week. I am very excited to be in the new apartment. Once we get settled in, and life is less crazy, I plan on watching all three seasons of Arrested Development because I miss that show!

Lame!

I didn't even know we were expecting snow today! I woke up to this horrible weather. The temperature is supposed to be in the 70's by this weekend though.

Ps: I think I have tennis elbow from playing wii tennis last night. I really need to work on my game.

New Guitar!

So I probably spend about 80% of my time playing the guitar on acoustic. I am just really into finger picking and alternate tunings, plus it’s super easy to just pick the acoustic and go at it. I have been playing on this beginners Taylor “Big Baby” because it was cheap and got the job done. Well, I am not a huge fan of the Taylor sound (way too tinny), so about a year ago I started researching what guitar I would get next. I came to find out that a lot of my favorite acoustic recordings were done with vintage Guild acoustics (Nick Drake, Denison Witmer, Owen, etc.). Additionally, I found that the majority of them sell for under $700, which is great for a nice sounding acoustic.

So yesterday I was looking around at Guitar Center, and noticed an old acoustic just sitting in the middle of all of these crappy Fender acoustics, so I look closer and sure enough, it’s a 1971 Guild D-25. These normally sell on Ebay for around $600 and they had it marked for $459, so I knew it was a good deal. I was able to walk out the door with the guitar and a set of Martin SP’s for $430. I am so excited to finally have a nice acoustic again! Now I just need to put a pickup in it.

I would describe the tone as very mid rangy and super loud which is precisely what I look for in acoustic guitars. It sounds great with a pick and with just your fingers. The mahogany gives the tone really nice warmth to it. I will try getting some recordings of it up.

(example of a vintage Guild D-25)

This week in music vol. 3

Denison Witmer – Are You a Dreamer?
If you can’t tell by my past two album review entries, I am really into quaint, simple production that allows the songwriting and musicianship shine through. This album really fulfills that spot for me. Witmer’s vocals are extremely simple and he uses little to no vibrato. Most of the songs are driven by the acoustic guitar, but there is quite the vast array of instrumentation used on this album. Indie rock legends Sufjan Stevens and Rosie Thomas contribute heavily to this album. The collaboration is a perfect addition to Witmer’s lovely song writing. I can’t help but feel hopeful as I listen to this album. I recommend this if you like:
Nick Drake
Lakes
Nickel Creek
Sufjan Stevens

Broken Social Scene – s/t
I first got this album about a year and a half ago. At first, I kind of just passed it off, but I think I just wasn’t in a position to appreciate the songmanship involved in this album. This band hails from Canada and has contributors such as Amy Millan (Stars), Brendan Canning, and ton of others. This record is very reverb-soaked, spacey yet driving. A lot of pop writing with dark undertones are prevalent in this album. This is an extremely fun record and I recommend it if you like:
Built to Spill
The Flaming Lips
Stereolab

Zozobra – Harmonic Tremors
It’s kind of ironic that 99% of my music reviews are about softer indie rock bands. I figured I would break that trend with this one. Harmonic Tremors is the continuation of the Old Man Gloom project started back in 1999. This album has been met with some pretty harsh criticism, mainly because of what it had to live up to. I personally feel that this record holds it’s own weight. EH is extremely heavy and driving while leaving room for spaciness and a post-rock feel. If you are looking for Old Man Gloom v.2.0, you will be sorely disappointed. This album cut off a lot of the noise and 15 minute long feedback that was apparent in the last works. Overall, this album is polished and more accessible, while maintaining that brutal sound. Check this out if you are looking for some bad ass music. Sounds like:
Old Man Gloom
Cave-In
Isis
Tool

Seeking Him

Yesterday, as I sat in church, I came to the realization that I am really not happy with the situation I have put my soul in. Little by little, I have compromised and justified myself into a state I never thought I would be in. I won’t go into the specific issues that I have screwed up (I save those for my closest friends..haha), but I think it’s time to really chase after God and get back to that place I want to be. Not to beat a cliché to death, but sin really is a slippery slope.

It’s funny how easy it is to retain a “spiritual multi-personality disorder”. The church is quick to call out people as “hypocrites” when they aren’t living out their purpose in God. I confess, I used to think this way, but now I see myself in the same shoes as people I once judged. I truly think the problem stems back to lack of relationship with God himself. I spend so much time reading books and studying on Christianity that I forget to keep my actual relationship with God active. God longs for people who are thirsty to know Him, not know about Him.

Anyway, hopefully this post doesn’t seem too negative. I think on the contrary, I am extremely thankful to have a father that desires to know me and be intimate with me. I am ready to get back to that “holiness” that we are set aside for. I am ready to give hope to a dim-lit world that is starving for something only God can provide.

Past, Present and Future...

Well, by this time next year, I really hope to be set on my path to ministry. I have mixed feelings about my life up to this point. On one hand, I have had some incredible experiences. From making great music with friends I consider as close as brothers to traveling and living life as an adventure, I feel like life has been pretty full. On the other hand, I have done very few preparations for certain goals I have (ie. mission’s work, pasturing, leading). I have decided to not live in regret. I think God has taken me on this distinct journey for a reason and the outcome is going to be amazing as long as I keep my eyes fixed on him.

Looking back at my life as a 23 year old, I made some huge mistakes, and I also grew a ton. I feel like a completely different person. God is doing a constant change in me, and I am truly ready for the next level.

The past few weeks, I have been really trying to sift through all of the crap that clouds my vision. I have been driving more and more with out any music on, so I can focus on prayer and my thoughts. I have been praying before I go to bed. I think God truly is preparing me, and softening my heart.

Anyhoo, I think the next 365 days of me being 24 are going to be great, and my relationship with God is going to become more intimate than ever.

<3

This week in music vol. 2

Time for another music Friday post!

Youth Group – Casino Twilight Dogs
I saw this Australian band open for Death Cab for Cutie last year. I thought they were very good, but honestly haven’t given them much thought since. Last week, my friend sent me a link to this c.d., so I downloaded it and having been jamming it since. I would describe it as quaint/simple indie rock with a lot of Beatles influence. The production on this album is great. The drum mixing really gives all of the other instruments a chance to breathe. It seems like a great album for all moods. A stand out track would be their cover of Forver Young. I have always loved that song despite its cheesy 80’s production, so it was nice to hear it modernized from a good band. Definitely check out this album!

Bonnie “Prince” Billy / Matt Sweeney – Superwolf
If you have talked to me about music in the past year, I have most likely jocked this album. First of all, probably one of my favorite “sounding” records. Everything is just perfect on it. No over-compression, super dynamic and a ton of imperfections that make the album perfect. Will Oldham’s lyrics are ironic, dark and humorous at times. I suppose the genre would be placed in the indie/country/folk circle, which I hate to say because that is such a trendy market right now. Don’t be fooled by current trends, this music is great on a base level of songwriting and Will Oldham has been making music professionally since the late 80’s. Anyway, do yourself a favor and buy this album, put on some nice headphones, crank the volume and listen to an amazing album.

Ben Folds – Supersunnyspeedgraphic, the LP
First off, I’d like to point out that Ben Folds is one of my all time favorite song writers. He has a knack for writing stellar songs consistently. I guess you could say he kind of has the Midas touch. While I think this new album (a collection of his recent e.p.’s) is solid, it doesn’t live up to his massive shoes. I suppose the fact that the album was put together separately means I should listen to it in a different context. I just don’t think this is nearly as good as his old material. Like I said, still solid, I just don’t think it will be remembered as one of his greats. I must admit however, that the cover of Bitches Ain’t Shit is pretty hilarious! If you are new to Ben Folds (Five), I think you should start in this order:

Rockin’ the Suburbs
The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Mesner
Whatever and Ever, Amen
Songs for Silverman

the onion is seriously incredible:

ORLANDO, FL—Brad Rolen, the new bassist for Pillar Of Salt, remains oblivious to the fact that he is in a Christian rock band, sources reported Tuesday.

Enlarge Image

The oblivious Rolen (left) and his Pillar Of Salt bandmates.

"Pillar's great," said Rolen, 22, who is unaware of his bandmates' devotion to Christ, despite playing on such songs as "Wade In The Water," "Eternal Life," and "Kiss Of The Betrayer." "We rock really heavy and hard, but we've got a positivity that you don't see in too many bands these days. I've only been with these guys for three months, but I feel like it's the perfect fit for me."

Rolen, who joined the Orlando-based band in March after responding to a "bassist wanted" ad in a local newspaper, said he was attracted to Pillar Of Salt for its music, which he calls "really intense and powerful," as well as its impressive stage show.

"I was between bands after Junkhorse broke up," Rolen said. "I went to check them out live and was just blown away. They had this awesome Black Sabbath-type stage set, with all these crucifixes and candles everywhere. Then, during [the song] 'False Idol,' a gold cow rose from the stage and [lead singer and songwriter] Jack [Rhineman] beat the shit out of it with his guitar. I thought, man, these guys put on a kick-ass show."

Rolen was also wowed by the range of Rhineman's music.

"Jack's amazing," Rolen said. "He writes all these super-heavy, Metallica-influenced tunes like 'My Master' and 'Blood Of My Father,' but then he'll turn around and write a killer love song like 'Thank You (For Saving Me).'"

"Actually, Jack writes a lot of songs about chicks," Rolen continued. "'Your Love,' 'When You Return,' 'I Confess'... I don't know if they're all about the same girl or lots of different ones, but one thing's for sure: Jack loves the pussy."

Rolen said he is awed by his new bandmates' encyclopedic knowledge of heavy metal and hard rock.

A copy of the band's upcoming CD.

"At the audition, [drummer] Greg [Roberts] said Pillar Of Salt was going for a Believer-meets-Living Sacrifice sound," Rolen said. "I didn't know jack about either of those bands, but I knew I could play bass like a motherfucker, and that's what got me the gig. Afterwards, I asked Greg what Living Sacrifice sounded like, and at the first practice, he gave me a tape. It's not Slayer, but it rocks. He's given me some other stuff by Whitecross, Third Day, and Stigmata. I've always prided myself on knowing metal, but these guys put me to shame. They must really have their ears to the ground to know all this music I've never heard before."

Because Rhineman and Roberts are both in what they call "a committed relationship with someone very special," Rolen has found himself to be the only member of Pillar Of Salt open to "hot groupie action." But despite having the band's female fans all to himself, Rolen has had little success.

"A lot of hot chicks are really into Pillar Of Salt," Rolen said. "After our first few shows, I thought I'd be getting more trim than a barbershop floor, but it hasn't worked out that way. Whenever I ask them to come back to the bus with me, they say, 'I can't do that—that's not right.' I'm like, 'Come on, this is rock 'n' roll.'"

Though he said he loves playing with Pillar Of Salt, Rolen conceded that the relationship has not been without its moments of tension. He recently became upset with his bandmates over their unwillingness to play concerts on Sunday. "We got an offer to play at the weekly Sunday Metal Spotlight down in Tampa, which would expose us to a whole new audience," Rolen said. "The guys said playing the Spotlight wasn't an option because Sunday was their 'day of rest.' Hey, I like kicking back and decompressing on Sundays, too, but we're a young band trying to establish ourselves. These guys need to get their priorities straight if they're serious about making it." Pillar Of Salt is currently preparing to embark on a U.S. tour in support of its debut album, Sanctified, to be released June 10 on the band's own Witness Records label.

Music for Lepers

I have been listening to this band called the Psalters for a while now, they make their own version of worship, which sounds a lot like mid-eastern world music. I always knew they had some interesting ideals and philosophies, so I checked out their website and found this in the Mission section. I think this is beautifully written, and it really spoke to me today:

This is the philosophy/situation from which the psalters, as we know them through the Bible, created their worship music. There is a great deal we as American Christians can learn from psalters and their approach to Glorifying God through music. Indeed, their approach seems a good elixir for the diseases of humanity in general; but nowhere in history or geography does their music seem a more appropriate vaccine than for the plague that affects myself and my culture/generation. There is a plague of leprosy in my country and it seems that not only are the devices of our culture impotent to stop it; the culture itself appears unable to so much as acknowledge the presence of this debilitating disease that is ravaging the land.

For many sacrificial years physician Dr. Paul Brand had been working with Leprosy patients in India , seeking to at least discover ways of reducing the effects of the disease if not finding a cure for them. What he discovered was almost as revolutionary as a cure: One of the oldest known and perhaps most notorious diseases in history has been misunderstood for thousands of years.

Until Dr. Brand’s work (the most ground breaking fruits of which occurred in the fifties) physicians had thought that the deformed limbs, blindness, gangrene, etc. of Lepers were all directly caused by the disease. Dr. Brand discovered, however, that the disease attacks only the millions of pain receptors in our body, while leaving the rest of our tissue undamaged. Because they do not feel any pain, the leper will regularly place their hands on hot stoves, or allow a paper cut to become infected until gangrene sets in and the foot or hand must be amputated.

One of the many typically powerful examples of the effects of life without pain is recorded by Dr. Brand in his book The Gift of Pain. He records an incident involving a patient in a leprosy community in India :

"An eager young patient caught my eye as he struggled across the edge of the courtyard on crutches, holding his bandaged left leg clear of the ground. Although he did his awkward best to hurry, the nimbler patients soon overtook him. As I watched, this man tucked his crutches under his arm and began to run on both feet with a very lopsided gait, waving wildly to get our attention. He ended up near the head of the line, where he stood panting, leaning on his crutches, wearing a smile of triumph. I could tell from the man’s gait, though, that something was badly wrong. Walking toward him, I saw that the bandages were wet with blood and his left foot flopped freely from side to side. By running on an already dislocated ankle, he had put far too much force on the end of his leg bone, and the skin had broken under the stress. He was walking on the end of his tibia, and with every step that naked bone dug into the ground. Nurses had scolded him sharply, but he seemed quite proud of himself for having run so fast. I knelt beside him and found that small stones and twigs had jammed through the end of the bone into the marrow cavity. I had no choice but to amputate the leg below the knee. (Brand p. 7)"

Leprosy strips the victim of the gift of pain that acts as an alarm system blaring incessantly until it is heard. When a healthy person catches the flu or gets a cut, their pain receptors force them to drop everything else that they are doing and deal with the situation until the pain goes away and the body returns to health. Conversely, Lepers have no insistent alarm system, and will therefore allow minor infections to develop into horrifically debilitating catastrophes even though they may be aware of the problem. Yet because it does not hurt they allow the infection to continue. They may see the problem but they do not feel it.

We too are lepers. We live in the "cushiest", "comfiest", richest country in history. We have our wealth, our philosophies, our drugs, and the media to protect us not only from truly feeling the pain of the oppressed, but also from feeling our own oppression and need to be healed.

"So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. Because you say, ‘I am rich , and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,’ and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire,..." (Rev. 3:16-18)

The oppression of the rich, powerful, comfortable, and drugged is that it is a separation from Christ. It all oppresses by layering blanket upon blanket of materialism and worldliness until we are pinned down under a mountain of cushy fabric that separates us from the Light, and suffocates us from the cool biting air of His Breath.

On the other hand, oppression as traditionally defined (poverty, slavery, violence, cultural ostracism) generally affects us in a different way. It cuts and tears and rips away from an individual---leaving them exposed and vulnerable. I grant that the response to this oppression is not often positive. Many times when people experience these forms of suffering they seek to flee it through drugs, bitterness, and a perpetuation of violence. It is up to the individual how to respond to suffering. But it is suffering that helps us to deeply feel our NEED for Christ and to more deeply identify with Him and the cross He bore.

It is also true the rich powerful oppressor often suffers as much or even more than those he oppresses. But it is a suffering of numbness; alienation from Christ the suffering servant; a spiritual deadness born out of a fleeing from suffering--and therefore this form of oppression actually serves to perpetuate our problem. That is why I feel we need to identify with those who do not have the layers of blankets; but are rather out in the biting cold, naked and torn.

Yet instead of identifying with the suffering Body of Christ we use the Body as if it were merely a tool, like the young leprosy patient who used his broken leg to get to the front of the dinner line. Because we are only told about the pain in Sudan , but do not ourselves feel it, we are perfectly content to allow Pepsi and Coca-Cola to buy gum arabic from the oppressive regime that has murdered 2 million people (most of whom are Christians) since 1989. Because we do not directly suffer from the severe poverty and oppression that occurs every day in Latin America, we raise no great fuss over our government training and arming thousands at the "School of the Americas " in Atlanta , Georgia to conduct guerrilla warfare on unarmed peasants south of the border. It does not cause us to flinch when we find out that this is done in order to install the type of puppet government best suited to meeting the capitalistic needs of the American economic machine.(Brown pp. 1-5) We do not bleed when we find out that thousands of Iraqi children are dying every month from NATO enforced sanctions that ultimately are in place in order that our black gold may flow freely, or at least more cheaply, from our automobiles.

Only when 15 middle-class, suburban, predominantly white youth are killed in "our own backyard" do we as a culture and generation even care to reflect on the disease that is enslaving us. That is because when we look intently upon the faces of these victims in our city paper (perhaps situated on the front page above the small article mentioning the ‘Crisis in Kosovo’) we see our own friends, neighbors; perhaps even ourselves. They are people who go to the same sort of school we go to. They live in the same type of neighborhood, wear the same kinds of clothes; listen to the same kinds of music, etc. etc. In a word we identify with them. We feel their pain because they are a part of us; and from that feeling we realize that there is a need for change and healing, or else that part of us will continue to suffer and hurt.

If we do not feel that hurt then that part of us has lost its identity with us. We no longer perceive that part as a member of ourselves. That is why we are so readily capable of using our neighbors like tools. We do not, in our heart of hearts, feel that they are a part of the Body of Christ. We do not identify with them. We do not suffer with them. They are available to us to be used as tools.

This is what happened to Dr. Brand’s leprosy patients. Now that he had discovered what was causing all the tissue damage of his patients Dr. Brand focused his attention on training the patients to protect their hands and feet and other parts of the body that regularly came in contact with potentially harmful objects and situations. He assumed that once the leprosy patients were properly educated about the importance of protecting their hands and feet, the patients would be able to keep themselves healthy and free of injury. He soon realized, however, that irresponsibility and carelessness were not the only obstacles keeping the leprosy patients from maintaining the health of their bodies. They had also lost a sense of identity with the parts of the body they could not feel pain from. The lack of pain signals had actually served to psychologically amputate the arms and feet from the boundary of self. One of Dr. Brand’s patients said to him, "’My hands and feet don’t feel part of me. They are like tools I can use, but they aren’t really me. I can see them, but in my mind they are dead.’" (Brand, p. 126)

Middle-Class Americans (like myself) suffer from leprosy. Jesus was constantly healing lepers. He does not flee from them. Nor does He flee the rich and "comfy". The rich young ruler and the Pharisees suffered from our form of leprosy and Jesus was constantly dealing with them too. Yeshua says, "Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline" (Rev. 3:19)

He sought to heal them by making them uncomfortable; challenging their beliefs; challenging them to give up all they had and take up the Cross; serving and identifying with the traditionally defined oppressed---just as He did. Jesus called them to this form of repentance not only for the sake of the poor; but so that they could learn from the poor how to feel, and struggle, and be healed of their leprosy with the gift of pain. So too we are called to identify with the suffering servant so that we can be healed of our leprosy.

We identify with the traditionally defined oppressed by living with them and serving them. We also identify with them by studying their interpretations of life as they have lived it. Their interpretations are to be found in their books, poetry, dance, art,...and music. We lepers need to immerse ourselves in their heritage as well as their lives. Christ is found everywhere; but this is where He is felt.

Christ speaks to us as we immerse ourselves in the musical heritage of the suffering servant; just as He speaks to us when we immerse ourselves in the literary heritage of the suffering servant (i.e. the Bible, the great Church fathers and mothers both past and present). As we soak ourselves in this heritage we will begin to learn how to make music for the lepers. Music that will help to heal our leprosy, not perpetuate it. Music that will help us to not merely think of Christ, but to feel Him, and stand with Him, praising Him, the suffering servant, our Lord, and Healer.

SUBJECT: LOTWM OFFICES MUST RELOCATE BY END OF APRIL 2007.

Here is a newsletter I just got from my sister and her family in Africa:

We are getting what we see as a “kick in the right direction!” The owners of the building we use for Light of the World Ministries in Francistown Botswana have notified us that we need to vacate the premises by the end of April as they have other plans for the building.

As you may recall, we already have our own land that we broke ground last year with Pastor and Mrs. Hagin. We have already moved the church there. The following are still in rented facility:

• Light of the World Ministry Offices
• Light of the World Academy (preschool, kindergarten)
• Light of the World Bible Training Centre
• Youth meetings, meetings, etc. are all using this facility.

NEEDED

We have building plans approved for a first phase that will cost about $400,000. This will take at least eight months to build. In order to move on to our new premises in time for a May 18^th second semester opening we need:

ITEM: Unit Cost: Cost*

• Six 10x40 ft. portable buildings $6000 each $36,000
• Electric hook-up $ 1,000
• Fence $ 1,000
• Six Air conditioners (not just a luxury here ! ) $1000 each $ 6,000
• Plumbing waiting for quotation
• Electric wiring waiting for quotation
• 40x 60 ft. Pavillion paid for!
• Sewage connection paid for!
• Water connection paid for!
• Ground clearing done-needs some additional work after good rains this year

*rounded to nearest thousand

Above: portable buldings such as this

will be needed to make a timely move.

We need not less than $50,000 in the next several weeks to make an uninterrupted move, allowing the Preschool, Bible Training Center, and all other ministry activities to continue operation without disruption. (no more $800 per month rent!)

After a meeting with the school parents informing them of our move most were excited to be on our own property. One woman expressed what others may have been thinking, “Pastor, do you think it is enough time? Can we do this?” I smiled and told her, “We WILL do this!” We are looking forward to having all of our operations in one place!

YOU CAN HELP US MOVE!!!

We have previously mentioned our “Foot by Foot” fundraising program.

Just as we learned to walk……One Foot at a Time ….. We will build!

• 8,000 square feet
• $400,000 ($50,000 needed in 4 weeks)
• One Square Foot costs $50

We are asking you to consider how many square feet you could contribute towards this project. Our church members have pledged 153 square feet, Bible School students, preschool parents and others in Francistown have also gotten involved. Kristin and I are sponsoring 100 square feet ... Madison and Anderson are each sponsoring a square foot, too!

As you may know, we stood in faith for our property through seven years of red tape to get this beautiful 11 acre property. Let's watch God make a “quick work” of this immediate move as well as our first phase building!

Consider sending :

• A one time gift

or

• A twelve month pledge (x amount of square feet per month for the next 12 months).

Please respond by sending us an email to buckley@botsnet.bw indicating your intention and send your contributions to:

Rhema Bible Church Missions

PO BOX 50126

Tulsa, OK 74150-0126

Designated for Matt Buckley

100% of your gift goes to th Buckleys designated for this project

(Please do not send any correspondence to this address)

All gifts toward this project will be acknowledged by a plaque in a prominent place in our new building!

Please advise how you would like your contribution to be listed (eg: “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” or “Faith Family Fellowship- Friendville, Florida” etc. )

Write to us at:

Matt and Kristin Buckley

PO Box 470105

Tulsa OK 74147-0105

Leave a message for us on 918 398- 4498 ( a Vonage number that we can retrieve here)

Below: Rendition of first phase- LOTW