Wake up Call

I am sick of being bitter and cynical. I know that the people who know me in real life will say that I am a pretty joyful/cheery person, but I don't feel that way in my mind. I feel like I am using every excuse possible to ignore my calling.

From my birth up until the age of 7, a lady lived with my family named Amy Fosholm. I consider this woman to be my third grandmother. Anyways, she was a complete woman of God. She would spend a minimum of 4 hours a day praying and interceding for people. She is one of the kindest people on this earth.

I was looking for something this afternoon in my storage boxes and came across a box full of pictures and letters. Overall, it was a really great time to look back at my life and all of the great relationships I have made. Two letters completely knocked me in the face. They were both from my old friend, Amy. The first, was a letter she wrote to me when I was still in my mother's womb. It was pretty much a prophecy saying that the Lord is birthing someone in my mother that was going to reach all of the nations and be a great person of God. The second letter was a follow up letter she sent me when I was in high school. It told me to chase after God and spend time with him. It told me to ignore all of the little things and get in line with the pulse of Jesus.

It's hard to explain how both of these letters spoke to me, but I feel like something profound has happened today. I feel clarity like I have never felt. Additionally, I feel extremely screwed up. I feel like I have expended so much energy and thought on things that aren't in my master plan. Frankly, I don't know what the master plan is, but I know that I need to rise up in spiritual maturity. I know that I need to disregard the petty things that plague my world.

Recently, I blogged about my frustrations with being selfish. Those thoughts have not gone away. It is time for a global view. It is time to start truly caring. As much as I want it to be, this life is not my own.