Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Comfort
Thanks, Mel, for sharing this verse, I've been thinking about it all morning:
Psalm 27:13
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Christianity is not just a ticket into heaven, or a mechanism for saving yourself from hell. It is a chance to witness the goodness of the Lord in this land of the living. To see Him working in our everyday lives and capitvating our hearts.
-Josh
ps - I updated my "currently listening" section on here.
Psalm 27:13
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Christianity is not just a ticket into heaven, or a mechanism for saving yourself from hell. It is a chance to witness the goodness of the Lord in this land of the living. To see Him working in our everyday lives and capitvating our hearts.
-Josh
ps - I updated my "currently listening" section on here.
Monday, December 17, 2007
The Resurrection Fern
In our days we will live
Like our ghosts will live:
Pitching glass at the cornfield crows
And folding clothes
Like stubborn boys across the road
We'll keep everything:
Grandma's gun and the black bear claw
That took her dog
When sister Laurie says, "Amen"
We won't hear anything:
The ten-car trains will take that word
That fledgling bird
And the fallen house across the way
It'll keep everything:
The baby's breath
Our bravery wasted and our shame
And we'll undress beside the ashes of the fire
Both our tender bellies wound in baling wire
All the more a pair of underwater pearls
Than the oak tree and its resurrection fern
In our days we will say
What our ghosts will say:
We gave the world what it saw fit
And what'd we get?
Like stubborn boys with big green eyes
We'll see everything:
In the tender shade of the autumn leaves
And the buzzard's wing
And we'll undress beside the ashes of the fire
Our tender bellies are wound around in baling wire
All the more a pair of underwater pearls
Than the oak tree and its resurrection fern
Like our ghosts will live:
Pitching glass at the cornfield crows
And folding clothes
Like stubborn boys across the road
We'll keep everything:
Grandma's gun and the black bear claw
That took her dog
When sister Laurie says, "Amen"
We won't hear anything:
The ten-car trains will take that word
That fledgling bird
And the fallen house across the way
It'll keep everything:
The baby's breath
Our bravery wasted and our shame
And we'll undress beside the ashes of the fire
Both our tender bellies wound in baling wire
All the more a pair of underwater pearls
Than the oak tree and its resurrection fern
In our days we will say
What our ghosts will say:
We gave the world what it saw fit
And what'd we get?
Like stubborn boys with big green eyes
We'll see everything:
In the tender shade of the autumn leaves
And the buzzard's wing
And we'll undress beside the ashes of the fire
Our tender bellies are wound around in baling wire
All the more a pair of underwater pearls
Than the oak tree and its resurrection fern
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Fattened Heart
I was reading on another blog about a reporter who did an investigation on where the little trinkets in Christian bookstores are produced. Shockingly, they found a few examples of these items that were made by sweat shops.
This sprung the thought in me; I don’t investigate where any of my belongings are made and what conditions are provided to those employees. I know, I know, this issue seems like one of those hopeless “never going to change” subjects. In my head, I think “Well at least these poor people have a job; they could be making nothing at all versus pennies per month”. That mentality doesn’t really improve anything though. It’s a stagnant way of thinking and not progressive at all.
Obviously, this issue extends past Christians, but as a believer, I think we are called to social justice. Consider this verse:
James 5:1-6: Come now, you rich people, weep and wail for the miseries that are coming to you. Your riches have rotted, and your clothes are moth eaten. Your gold and silver have rusted, and their rust will be evidence against you, and it will eat your flesh like fire. You have laid up treasure for the last days. Listen! The wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. You have lived on the earth in luxury and in pleasure; you have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the righteous one, who does not resist you.
I am sure that my closets are filled with clothing that was produced by a child who had to work a 14 hour day. That makes me a hypocrite. I think it’s time to start moving forward and thinking about these kinds of things. The world is much bigger than my comfy life here in the United States.
This sprung the thought in me; I don’t investigate where any of my belongings are made and what conditions are provided to those employees. I know, I know, this issue seems like one of those hopeless “never going to change” subjects. In my head, I think “Well at least these poor people have a job; they could be making nothing at all versus pennies per month”. That mentality doesn’t really improve anything though. It’s a stagnant way of thinking and not progressive at all.
Obviously, this issue extends past Christians, but as a believer, I think we are called to social justice. Consider this verse:
James 5:1-6: Come now, you rich people, weep and wail for the miseries that are coming to you. Your riches have rotted, and your clothes are moth eaten. Your gold and silver have rusted, and their rust will be evidence against you, and it will eat your flesh like fire. You have laid up treasure for the last days. Listen! The wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. You have lived on the earth in luxury and in pleasure; you have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the righteous one, who does not resist you.
I am sure that my closets are filled with clothing that was produced by a child who had to work a 14 hour day. That makes me a hypocrite. I think it’s time to start moving forward and thinking about these kinds of things. The world is much bigger than my comfy life here in the United States.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Interview
I interviewed my friend, Jeremy Ritch off hxcboards. He is a pastor in PA that leads a really interesting life. Hopefully you enjoy!
1. Tell me about your family, life and the area you live in
That is a big questionI was born in 1975 in Cleveland Ohio, I have two brothers. We lived in Richfield OH until my father and mother divorced when I was 7. After my mom remarried we moved to Cleveland where I would live until I was 20. I grew up in a rough neighborhood and was involved in many extra curricular activities that got me in trouble. I played in bands and was active in the punk & hardcore scenes. I used a lot of drugs and drank a ton of booze, and eventually sold drugs. I lost a lot of friends and by 18 I was burnt out. After i got clean I enrolled at the U of Toledo and had a rough year there. I was kicked out of a Campus Ministry for being a bad influence. I eventually transferred to Eastern university in St Davids PA where i would stay a year and a half before being kicked out. During my time at Eastern I worked with the simple way community and started a band called Stag Thicket. I also drank myself silly. Once I was free of school I lived in various forms of housing around Philadelphia. In 1999 I joined a band called Double Down that was pretty awful psychobilly. Then after the band dissolved and became Mercury Radio Theater I started a booking management company with a friend. We had a good roster and it lasted a few years before I left to pursue ministry. I met my future wife in 2000 and started running Revolution Philly. I booked shows,did bibles studies, took kids to rehab and all kinds of fun stuff. In 2002 I was married and moved to Atlanta where I worked for Revolution and booked a lot of shows. I left Revolution in 2003 to start an ill fated Recording label. In 05 I started a media company called Floating Boy Media in Philly that does a lot of live Hardcore videos. In 05 I moved back to Ohio for 6 months before taking a job with Hope For The Rejected as a pastoring Harrisburg PA. I stayed with them until fall of 06 when I started One Church Ministries. That is where I am now.
very cool.
2. What is your vision for one church?
Right now we are meeting once a week for bible study. My vision is to get a store front or building to use as a community art space/performance space. There is a guy who is considering partnering with me to start a coffee house. I would like to not only be a ministry to hurting Christians and non Christians alike but also provide a place in Harrisburg for people to create art and express themselves through music. this will not be some cheesy Christian thing either. The art and music will be uncensored and not based on faith at all. The bible studies and other outreach will contain the faith aspects.
3. What are your thoughts on modern day church life, and how do you think it has gotten off track from what the original church looked like?
Well I think modern American church culture is nothing like Christ had spoke about. It has become a politically charged, materialistic and consumer based culture. The focus is mainly on building bigger and more high tech churches. Attracting as many people as possible to "grow" the church body. There is little emphasis on the poor, the needy and on just loving people. I am not sure how the early church was but i can imagine it was not like this. The politics are outrageous. We have Church leaders who endorse and even campaign for political figures. There is so much legalism as well in many churches that has driven thousands to agnostism, atheism and just a state of confusion. I hope that the church will return to a message of compassion, love and grace before it just destroys itself through infighting, denominational wars and just a lack of community. There are so many hurting people in the world but why should they follow a faith that is represented by a bunch of assholes with power complexes. It is sad that my friends who are gay, divorced, ex addicts, tattooed, ex cons, or just don't fit the mold who actually want to be Christians but are to angry or intimidated by it.
very true, seems like we have built up this "industrial strength Christianity" that is not open to question or thought, just the blind leading the blind. ok, I don't want to just harp on Christianity.
4. You were in a wide array of bands, as well as the business side of music. What do you think about the future of the music industry, are you hopeful? Do you think it's getting washed out?Well I have always played in punk & Hardcore bands up until my latest countryish thing. So I have always had a more DIY approach. I think the music industry is in real trouble from a corporate stand point. The companies are now run by business people not music people. They are producing records that sell and are cookie cutter types. Jobs are few and last only a few years so many talented people don't want to risk it. The hope I see is in the DIY movement which has moved from 4-track recordings and paper zines to quality MP3 recordings and internet promotion. I have worked with many bands and seen the mistakes that were made by signing their lives to a label it almost always ends in disaster. The ones that make it and do well tend to do things their own way. by releasing their own music and keeping the creativity going.It should be about more than money
agreed. 5. Hxcboards has a majority of late teens, early 20 something’s. As someone who is a bit older, do you have any advice for them?
hmmmmm, support local bands and stop comparing everything to bands from 15-20 years ago. I satrted going to shows in 1989ish and I have seen a lot of these “legendary" bands. The thing is they weren't anything back then but another band coming through. They stick out now because of what they did or what the represented. There are good bands still out there doing fantastic music. The problem is kids are fixated on being scholars of hardcore, having to download every band that ever existed to show they are the most HXC of them all. It is stupid. The bands now are only different because they weren't the first to do it. Hardcore is a young music form, it is only around 30 years old. There is more that can be done but people have to stay creative and stop living in the past. Be influenced by your roots but don't just copy cat and wish you were born 20 years earlier. love what ya got now because time flies. I would love to see more bands saying something, anything, just speak your mind and make people listen. My main complaint now adays is no one is saying anything meaningful in Hardcore
6. what are some modern bands that you think are doing something unique/impactful?
hmmm I haven't stayed up on things too much as far as hardcore. There is not many political or even socially conscience bands that come to mind. I mean guys like Paint it Black always have something to say. There is a band around here called Steel Nation who are not that impactful but they are intelligent. I mean I really haven’t seen many bands that are really challenging kids. I am also not as active as I once was. I just think there is a mentality now of start a band, record, tour and get signed. That is not what hardcore used to be about.
ok, I’m going to switch gears again. 7. I know you live a fairly simple life as far as money/lifestyle goes, how do you think one makes that transition, and what are the obstacles you face?
Well first you have to look realistically at your situation. Me and my wife make far less then most people do, because we work in the non profit sector. Our combined income is under 25k but we have everything we need. We budget our money, we do not use credit cards and we do not buy what we don't need. Both of us grew up poor and were used to not having the latest and greatest stuff so that helps. I mean you have to look at what you need before you buy what you want. Food, shelter and all that come first. I have never had money and my family growing up was poor. Now my mom and step dad have some money but it is because my step father worked his way there. He started as a low paid locksmith and after 15 years he bought the company from his boss who was retiring. Now he has owned it for 10 years and is doing ok. Not rich but they are able to finally have some things they never could. I guess it all comes down to what are your needs and what are you willing to sacrifice in order to live. I mean a lot of people I know make more than me by a lot but are in debt, struggling and just can't get by. It boiled down to them spending more than they make. They don't need the stuff they bought they simply wanted it and it is costing them.
8. I recently read an article about a couple who have 7 kids and make a total of 35k per year. Are you and your wife planning on having kids, how would this effect your current lifestyle?
We are not planning on having kids. Partly because of financial reasons. I grew up poor and in my neighborhood i saw so many lives ruined because of money. I saw so many friends get people pregnant and it ruined those kids. They grew up with nothing because there parents just kept having babies and not taking care of them. I have seen people lose homes because they have too many children. The thing that pisses me off about this is when these pro lifes get all up in arms about abortions and yet what are they doing to help. They act like girls are just lining up to get em, but where I grew up they were having babies not killing em. If some of these pro life people would start adopting these kids and not reproducing themselves like rabbits maybe we could help this problem. I mean a big part of pro life beliefs is to not use birth control and let what happens happen. that is pretty jacked up thinking.
We won't get into the abortion discussion, because I only have 2 questions left, but. 9. As far as over-population crisis goes, what do you think are the causes of this, and what do you think is a cure?
I think it is caused by many things. Poverty, Religious views, Greed, Lack of education, and a disregard for responsibility. The cure? I have no idea. wrapped that shit up!
haha!Ok, I have really enjoyed this interview, thanks again, here's my last question. 10. You are on an island by yourself, "cast away" style. You can only take 5 things with you, what do you bring and why?
1. flint - start a fire
2. my wife -I needsomeone to talk to
3. rope - ya always need rope
4. A hoodie- it can get cold
5. my bible - it is a good book and i haven'tquite understood it all yet
my wife should be #1
haha, i won't tell her.: good interview man. thanks!
you are welcome
1. Tell me about your family, life and the area you live in
That is a big questionI was born in 1975 in Cleveland Ohio, I have two brothers. We lived in Richfield OH until my father and mother divorced when I was 7. After my mom remarried we moved to Cleveland where I would live until I was 20. I grew up in a rough neighborhood and was involved in many extra curricular activities that got me in trouble. I played in bands and was active in the punk & hardcore scenes. I used a lot of drugs and drank a ton of booze, and eventually sold drugs. I lost a lot of friends and by 18 I was burnt out. After i got clean I enrolled at the U of Toledo and had a rough year there. I was kicked out of a Campus Ministry for being a bad influence. I eventually transferred to Eastern university in St Davids PA where i would stay a year and a half before being kicked out. During my time at Eastern I worked with the simple way community and started a band called Stag Thicket. I also drank myself silly. Once I was free of school I lived in various forms of housing around Philadelphia. In 1999 I joined a band called Double Down that was pretty awful psychobilly. Then after the band dissolved and became Mercury Radio Theater I started a booking management company with a friend. We had a good roster and it lasted a few years before I left to pursue ministry. I met my future wife in 2000 and started running Revolution Philly. I booked shows,did bibles studies, took kids to rehab and all kinds of fun stuff. In 2002 I was married and moved to Atlanta where I worked for Revolution and booked a lot of shows. I left Revolution in 2003 to start an ill fated Recording label. In 05 I started a media company called Floating Boy Media in Philly that does a lot of live Hardcore videos. In 05 I moved back to Ohio for 6 months before taking a job with Hope For The Rejected as a pastoring Harrisburg PA. I stayed with them until fall of 06 when I started One Church Ministries. That is where I am now.
very cool.
2. What is your vision for one church?
Right now we are meeting once a week for bible study. My vision is to get a store front or building to use as a community art space/performance space. There is a guy who is considering partnering with me to start a coffee house. I would like to not only be a ministry to hurting Christians and non Christians alike but also provide a place in Harrisburg for people to create art and express themselves through music. this will not be some cheesy Christian thing either. The art and music will be uncensored and not based on faith at all. The bible studies and other outreach will contain the faith aspects.
3. What are your thoughts on modern day church life, and how do you think it has gotten off track from what the original church looked like?
Well I think modern American church culture is nothing like Christ had spoke about. It has become a politically charged, materialistic and consumer based culture. The focus is mainly on building bigger and more high tech churches. Attracting as many people as possible to "grow" the church body. There is little emphasis on the poor, the needy and on just loving people. I am not sure how the early church was but i can imagine it was not like this. The politics are outrageous. We have Church leaders who endorse and even campaign for political figures. There is so much legalism as well in many churches that has driven thousands to agnostism, atheism and just a state of confusion. I hope that the church will return to a message of compassion, love and grace before it just destroys itself through infighting, denominational wars and just a lack of community. There are so many hurting people in the world but why should they follow a faith that is represented by a bunch of assholes with power complexes. It is sad that my friends who are gay, divorced, ex addicts, tattooed, ex cons, or just don't fit the mold who actually want to be Christians but are to angry or intimidated by it.
very true, seems like we have built up this "industrial strength Christianity" that is not open to question or thought, just the blind leading the blind. ok, I don't want to just harp on Christianity.
4. You were in a wide array of bands, as well as the business side of music. What do you think about the future of the music industry, are you hopeful? Do you think it's getting washed out?Well I have always played in punk & Hardcore bands up until my latest countryish thing. So I have always had a more DIY approach. I think the music industry is in real trouble from a corporate stand point. The companies are now run by business people not music people. They are producing records that sell and are cookie cutter types. Jobs are few and last only a few years so many talented people don't want to risk it. The hope I see is in the DIY movement which has moved from 4-track recordings and paper zines to quality MP3 recordings and internet promotion. I have worked with many bands and seen the mistakes that were made by signing their lives to a label it almost always ends in disaster. The ones that make it and do well tend to do things their own way. by releasing their own music and keeping the creativity going.It should be about more than money
agreed. 5. Hxcboards has a majority of late teens, early 20 something’s. As someone who is a bit older, do you have any advice for them?
hmmmmm, support local bands and stop comparing everything to bands from 15-20 years ago. I satrted going to shows in 1989ish and I have seen a lot of these “legendary" bands. The thing is they weren't anything back then but another band coming through. They stick out now because of what they did or what the represented. There are good bands still out there doing fantastic music. The problem is kids are fixated on being scholars of hardcore, having to download every band that ever existed to show they are the most HXC of them all. It is stupid. The bands now are only different because they weren't the first to do it. Hardcore is a young music form, it is only around 30 years old. There is more that can be done but people have to stay creative and stop living in the past. Be influenced by your roots but don't just copy cat and wish you were born 20 years earlier. love what ya got now because time flies. I would love to see more bands saying something, anything, just speak your mind and make people listen. My main complaint now adays is no one is saying anything meaningful in Hardcore
6. what are some modern bands that you think are doing something unique/impactful?
hmmm I haven't stayed up on things too much as far as hardcore. There is not many political or even socially conscience bands that come to mind. I mean guys like Paint it Black always have something to say. There is a band around here called Steel Nation who are not that impactful but they are intelligent. I mean I really haven’t seen many bands that are really challenging kids. I am also not as active as I once was. I just think there is a mentality now of start a band, record, tour and get signed. That is not what hardcore used to be about.
ok, I’m going to switch gears again. 7. I know you live a fairly simple life as far as money/lifestyle goes, how do you think one makes that transition, and what are the obstacles you face?
Well first you have to look realistically at your situation. Me and my wife make far less then most people do, because we work in the non profit sector. Our combined income is under 25k but we have everything we need. We budget our money, we do not use credit cards and we do not buy what we don't need. Both of us grew up poor and were used to not having the latest and greatest stuff so that helps. I mean you have to look at what you need before you buy what you want. Food, shelter and all that come first. I have never had money and my family growing up was poor. Now my mom and step dad have some money but it is because my step father worked his way there. He started as a low paid locksmith and after 15 years he bought the company from his boss who was retiring. Now he has owned it for 10 years and is doing ok. Not rich but they are able to finally have some things they never could. I guess it all comes down to what are your needs and what are you willing to sacrifice in order to live. I mean a lot of people I know make more than me by a lot but are in debt, struggling and just can't get by. It boiled down to them spending more than they make. They don't need the stuff they bought they simply wanted it and it is costing them.
8. I recently read an article about a couple who have 7 kids and make a total of 35k per year. Are you and your wife planning on having kids, how would this effect your current lifestyle?
We are not planning on having kids. Partly because of financial reasons. I grew up poor and in my neighborhood i saw so many lives ruined because of money. I saw so many friends get people pregnant and it ruined those kids. They grew up with nothing because there parents just kept having babies and not taking care of them. I have seen people lose homes because they have too many children. The thing that pisses me off about this is when these pro lifes get all up in arms about abortions and yet what are they doing to help. They act like girls are just lining up to get em, but where I grew up they were having babies not killing em. If some of these pro life people would start adopting these kids and not reproducing themselves like rabbits maybe we could help this problem. I mean a big part of pro life beliefs is to not use birth control and let what happens happen. that is pretty jacked up thinking.
We won't get into the abortion discussion, because I only have 2 questions left, but. 9. As far as over-population crisis goes, what do you think are the causes of this, and what do you think is a cure?
I think it is caused by many things. Poverty, Religious views, Greed, Lack of education, and a disregard for responsibility. The cure? I have no idea. wrapped that shit up!
haha!Ok, I have really enjoyed this interview, thanks again, here's my last question. 10. You are on an island by yourself, "cast away" style. You can only take 5 things with you, what do you bring and why?
1. flint - start a fire
2. my wife -I needsomeone to talk to
3. rope - ya always need rope
4. A hoodie- it can get cold
5. my bible - it is a good book and i haven'tquite understood it all yet
my wife should be #1
haha, i won't tell her.: good interview man. thanks!
you are welcome
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Best of 2007!
Ok, I went through my ipod and figured out which 2007 releases got the most playtime this year, enjoy!
Radiohead – In Rainbows
Travis – The Boy With No Name
Jimmy Eat World – Chase this Light
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Baby 81
Explosions in the Sky – All the Sudden, I Miss Everyone
Wilco – Sky, Blue Sky
Rocky Votolato – The Bragg & Cuss
Iron & Wine – the Shepherd’s Dog
Bruce Springsteen – Devils & Dust
Caspian – The Four Trees
Ryan Adams – Easy Tiger
Nick Drake – Family Tree
Earth – Hibernaculum
Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
God is an Astronaut – Far From Refuge
Jade Day – Of Waking…
Jeremy Enigk – The Missing Link
Matt Pond PA – Last Light
The National – Boxer
Pinback – Autumn of the Seraphs
Pissed Jeans – Hope for Men
Rosie Thomas – These Friends of Mine
Sigur Ros – Heim/Hvarf
The Six Parts Seven – Casually Smashed to Pieces
The smashing Pumpkins – Zeitegeist
Stars – In Our Bedroom, After the War
This Will Destroy You – s/t
The Weakerthans – Reunion Tour
Wolves in the Throne Room – Two Hunters
Youth Group – Casino Twilight Dogs
Zozobra – Harmonic Tremors
65daysofstatic – Destruction of Small Ideas
Radiohead – In Rainbows
Travis – The Boy With No Name
Jimmy Eat World – Chase this Light
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Baby 81
Explosions in the Sky – All the Sudden, I Miss Everyone
Wilco – Sky, Blue Sky
Rocky Votolato – The Bragg & Cuss
Iron & Wine – the Shepherd’s Dog
Bruce Springsteen – Devils & Dust
Caspian – The Four Trees
Ryan Adams – Easy Tiger
Nick Drake – Family Tree
Earth – Hibernaculum
Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
God is an Astronaut – Far From Refuge
Jade Day – Of Waking…
Jeremy Enigk – The Missing Link
Matt Pond PA – Last Light
The National – Boxer
Pinback – Autumn of the Seraphs
Pissed Jeans – Hope for Men
Rosie Thomas – These Friends of Mine
Sigur Ros – Heim/Hvarf
The Six Parts Seven – Casually Smashed to Pieces
The smashing Pumpkins – Zeitegeist
Stars – In Our Bedroom, After the War
This Will Destroy You – s/t
The Weakerthans – Reunion Tour
Wolves in the Throne Room – Two Hunters
Youth Group – Casino Twilight Dogs
Zozobra – Harmonic Tremors
65daysofstatic – Destruction of Small Ideas
rock+roll
What a great weekend. I had the pleasure of helping out at “Lost 2007”, my church’s winter youth retreat. I must say, I was ministered to a lot. I really felt some things come to the surface that God is dealing with in my heart. I am excited to see what the future holds!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I am weak in this need for you...
“Come to me, come to me all you sick and weary”
“Come to me, come to me and I will make you whole”
There’s a place that is brighter than the sun, and deeper than the darkest sea. Where the fields roll into the west and my mind can feel some rest. I am so weak in this need for You. My heart is green, fertile with life and ready for autumn’s harvest.
Rot away, oh fence posts of my past. The sand that the wind moves will wear you down. Seeing you go is hard, the barbs wrapped around your width are exposed. Rusting metal has its hold on something that no longer contains me.
Send me out into the rain my Lord. Pour out the globes of water onto my brow. Let the remnants run through my beard, onto my chest and to my feet. Cleanse the very ground I stand on so that flowers may bloom and fields grow.
“Come to me, come to me and I will make you whole”
There’s a place that is brighter than the sun, and deeper than the darkest sea. Where the fields roll into the west and my mind can feel some rest. I am so weak in this need for You. My heart is green, fertile with life and ready for autumn’s harvest.
Rot away, oh fence posts of my past. The sand that the wind moves will wear you down. Seeing you go is hard, the barbs wrapped around your width are exposed. Rusting metal has its hold on something that no longer contains me.
Send me out into the rain my Lord. Pour out the globes of water onto my brow. Let the remnants run through my beard, onto my chest and to my feet. Cleanse the very ground I stand on so that flowers may bloom and fields grow.
Monday, November 26, 2007
The past is a different world.
Well I would say that thanksgiving was a success. It was such a healing/rejuvenating experience to be with my family. I spent Wednesday-Thursday with my parents, my Uncle Luke, my Uncle Stan and their spouses in Omaha, NB. During the drive eastward, I had a lot of time to gather my thoughts and listen to some great music. I got into my uncle’s home and gave my parents a big hug followed by my extended family. We sat around and talked and got all caught up. The next morning, we had a big breakfast and watched football. At 4, we had our Thanksgiving dinner. The highlight of the meal was the Lefsa. I haven’t had that in a few years, and I deeply missed it!
The peak of my time in Nebraska was Thursday evening. We all sat in the living room as I listened to my mom and her brothers reminisce about the past. Stories of the life on a family-farm, stories about my grandfather I never met, and tales of early marriage life. After that, my mom suggested we sing some songs around the piano. My aunt Sharon mounted the bench, and with soft fingers began hammering the ivory keys to the tune of old Lutheran hymns and classic Christmas tunes. The air was thick with jovial melodies and love.
After the singing, we all sat down again, and my uncle Luke asked if he could read us a story he had been working on. He clarified that it was a telling of how my uncle Philipp died when he was 21. My ears burned with anticipation. I had never been brave enough to ask my mother the details about his death, because I could see the pain behind her eyes when we spoke of him. Luke, with his rumbling voice, started reading aloud as gingerly as he could, holding back the tears. His story was very concise and detailed, and beautifully written. I felt such a range of emotions. I could sense that it was a healing experience for my mother, and Uncle Stan.
I drove home feeling so much love and so much frustration. I felt as if I truly had a family to be proud of, but also felt selfish in my own life. I make things into these big ordeals, when truly I haven’t been through hardship. I am blessed, and I choose to focus on that. I think this was one of the first Thanksgivings where I really truly felt thankful. I also feel like I have a better sense of what matters in life, and what kind of legacy I want to leave this earth with.
Anyway, happy holidays to all my beloved friends! I love you all.
-Josh
The peak of my time in Nebraska was Thursday evening. We all sat in the living room as I listened to my mom and her brothers reminisce about the past. Stories of the life on a family-farm, stories about my grandfather I never met, and tales of early marriage life. After that, my mom suggested we sing some songs around the piano. My aunt Sharon mounted the bench, and with soft fingers began hammering the ivory keys to the tune of old Lutheran hymns and classic Christmas tunes. The air was thick with jovial melodies and love.
After the singing, we all sat down again, and my uncle Luke asked if he could read us a story he had been working on. He clarified that it was a telling of how my uncle Philipp died when he was 21. My ears burned with anticipation. I had never been brave enough to ask my mother the details about his death, because I could see the pain behind her eyes when we spoke of him. Luke, with his rumbling voice, started reading aloud as gingerly as he could, holding back the tears. His story was very concise and detailed, and beautifully written. I felt such a range of emotions. I could sense that it was a healing experience for my mother, and Uncle Stan.
I drove home feeling so much love and so much frustration. I felt as if I truly had a family to be proud of, but also felt selfish in my own life. I make things into these big ordeals, when truly I haven’t been through hardship. I am blessed, and I choose to focus on that. I think this was one of the first Thanksgivings where I really truly felt thankful. I also feel like I have a better sense of what matters in life, and what kind of legacy I want to leave this earth with.
Anyway, happy holidays to all my beloved friends! I love you all.
-Josh
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Capitalism
Wow, 3 posts in 2 days! I am on a blog-roll!
Found this quote courtesy of Ms. Melissa Miles. Kind of interesting.
Kevin Barnes (from of Montreal):
"The thing is, I like capitalism. I think it's an interesting challenge. It's a system that rewards the imaginative and ambitious adults and punishes the lazy adults. Our generation is insanely lazy. We're just as smart as our parents but we are overwhelmed by contradicting ideas that confuse us into paralysis. Maybe the punk rock ethos made sense for the "no future" generation but it doesn't make sense for me. I like producing and purchasing things. I'd much rather go to IKEA than to stand in some bread line. That's because I don't have to stand in a bread line. Most people who throw around terms like "sellout" don't have to stand in one either. They don't have to stand in one because they are gainfully employed. The term "sellout" only exists in the lexicon of the over-privileged. Almost every non-homeless person in America is over-privileged, at least in a global sense. "
Found this quote courtesy of Ms. Melissa Miles. Kind of interesting.
Kevin Barnes (from of Montreal):
"The thing is, I like capitalism. I think it's an interesting challenge. It's a system that rewards the imaginative and ambitious adults and punishes the lazy adults. Our generation is insanely lazy. We're just as smart as our parents but we are overwhelmed by contradicting ideas that confuse us into paralysis. Maybe the punk rock ethos made sense for the "no future" generation but it doesn't make sense for me. I like producing and purchasing things. I'd much rather go to IKEA than to stand in some bread line. That's because I don't have to stand in a bread line. Most people who throw around terms like "sellout" don't have to stand in one either. They don't have to stand in one because they are gainfully employed. The term "sellout" only exists in the lexicon of the over-privileged. Almost every non-homeless person in America is over-privileged, at least in a global sense. "
Open wide my door, My Lord, My Lord.
Sometimes I fear that I hold things back in my blog because I realize other people read it. The whole reason I started blogging was to have an online journal where I could let my thoughts out and look back on them. Now I have all these different friends with different viewpoints and I fear offending all of them. I am going to stop caring about that. Whether what I write if wrong or right, I have to be honest with what I am feeling at that moment.
I have started reading Acts on the light rail on my way to/from work. I feel so full of love this morning. To paraphrase one of the verses I read this morning, “You crucified me, and I offered forgiveness”. In the church, we always talk about forgiveness in the sense of forgiving others, which is extremely powerful. However, I think God calls us to remember daily that we are forgiven for our own transgressions, and that there is liberty in that. We need to walk this earth freely, and not feel like we are constantly paying off some sort of debt. It seems like a lot of critics look at Christianity like this condemning religion where you are made to feel bad about everything you do. I feel the opposite. Christianity is freedom. It’s coming to the enlightenment that you are loved and forgiven, therefore you can be free to love and forgive others. There are no preset expectations, just love. I sound like such a hippy right now, but I can’t contain the feeling in me. These basic truths are so hard for me to comprehend sometimes, so when I feel it in my heart, I get real excited.
Anyway, love ya all.
-Josh
I have started reading Acts on the light rail on my way to/from work. I feel so full of love this morning. To paraphrase one of the verses I read this morning, “You crucified me, and I offered forgiveness”. In the church, we always talk about forgiveness in the sense of forgiving others, which is extremely powerful. However, I think God calls us to remember daily that we are forgiven for our own transgressions, and that there is liberty in that. We need to walk this earth freely, and not feel like we are constantly paying off some sort of debt. It seems like a lot of critics look at Christianity like this condemning religion where you are made to feel bad about everything you do. I feel the opposite. Christianity is freedom. It’s coming to the enlightenment that you are loved and forgiven, therefore you can be free to love and forgive others. There are no preset expectations, just love. I sound like such a hippy right now, but I can’t contain the feeling in me. These basic truths are so hard for me to comprehend sometimes, so when I feel it in my heart, I get real excited.
Anyway, love ya all.
-Josh
Monday, November 19, 2007
Intense.
I read this on another blog, and was dumbfounded by it.
"The 2006 budget showed that US military expenditures were twenty-one times larger than diplomacy and foreign aid combined, and that the United States was dead last among the most developed nations in foreign aid as a percentage of gross domestic product. One wonders what would happen if good-hearted Americans realized that a mere 10 percent of the US military budget, if reinvested in foreign aid and development, could care for the basic needs of the entire world's poor. Or if they realized that one-half of 1 percent of the US military budget would cut hunger in Africa in half by 2015. Would there be marches in the streets calling for budgetary reform?"
"The 2006 budget showed that US military expenditures were twenty-one times larger than diplomacy and foreign aid combined, and that the United States was dead last among the most developed nations in foreign aid as a percentage of gross domestic product. One wonders what would happen if good-hearted Americans realized that a mere 10 percent of the US military budget, if reinvested in foreign aid and development, could care for the basic needs of the entire world's poor. Or if they realized that one-half of 1 percent of the US military budget would cut hunger in Africa in half by 2015. Would there be marches in the streets calling for budgetary reform?"
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
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