Wake up Call

I am sick of being bitter and cynical. I know that the people who know me in real life will say that I am a pretty joyful/cheery person, but I don't feel that way in my mind. I feel like I am using every excuse possible to ignore my calling.

From my birth up until the age of 7, a lady lived with my family named Amy Fosholm. I consider this woman to be my third grandmother. Anyways, she was a complete woman of God. She would spend a minimum of 4 hours a day praying and interceding for people. She is one of the kindest people on this earth.

I was looking for something this afternoon in my storage boxes and came across a box full of pictures and letters. Overall, it was a really great time to look back at my life and all of the great relationships I have made. Two letters completely knocked me in the face. They were both from my old friend, Amy. The first, was a letter she wrote to me when I was still in my mother's womb. It was pretty much a prophecy saying that the Lord is birthing someone in my mother that was going to reach all of the nations and be a great person of God. The second letter was a follow up letter she sent me when I was in high school. It told me to chase after God and spend time with him. It told me to ignore all of the little things and get in line with the pulse of Jesus.

It's hard to explain how both of these letters spoke to me, but I feel like something profound has happened today. I feel clarity like I have never felt. Additionally, I feel extremely screwed up. I feel like I have expended so much energy and thought on things that aren't in my master plan. Frankly, I don't know what the master plan is, but I know that I need to rise up in spiritual maturity. I know that I need to disregard the petty things that plague my world.

Recently, I blogged about my frustrations with being selfish. Those thoughts have not gone away. It is time for a global view. It is time to start truly caring. As much as I want it to be, this life is not my own.

Change

This is probably the hardest blog I have ever tried to articulate. I have been thinking it over for the past couple months, and I just need to get it out of my mind and written down. I am really starting to believe that I don’t adhere to any political party. The reason this is hard for me to say is because it seems like literally everyone around me is passionately conservative.

Trust me, I am all for political awareness and social justice. I just don’t see justice happening in our current state. I think certain things about modern capitalist politics just don’t line up with the life Jesus led. Here are a few of the issues I am starting to re-think:

I am becoming a pacifist. Last night, I watched the movie, The Passion of the Christ. As I sat there in tears watching this actor’s rendition of Jesus, it became more apparent how much of a non-violent revolutionary he was. The “turn the other cheek” analogy is more than just a saying; it was a way of life for Jesus. Now, just for clarification, this is not some anti-Iraq war rant. I am simply stating my distaste for war in general. I realize our country was pretty much founded on the civil war, but to me that is not justification, it’s just history that we learn from.

I am becoming more concerned about Green Matters and the Environment. The bible calls us to be good stewards of our land, and I feel like our society has not done its job in upholding this. Everything on this earth is God’s piece of art from a mucky marsh in the everglades to farmland in the Midwest. Sometimes I think we have this attitude that Jesus is coming back before any of our environmental footprint effects anything. The fact of the matter is no one knows when Jesus is coming. It has been “at hand” since the apostle Paul was alive. One of my greatest fears is that, in a thousand years, our offspring look back at us in bewilderment at how we treated our land and showed no concern over their future. Why? So we could have 5 options in sneakers instead of 2, so we could have a 3 cars instead of two, etc.

I am reading the bible as a story, not an answer book. The bible is the tale of our existence put into poetic terms, not prose. It is the word inspired by God, not directly written by him. I believe the bible is 100% true in context, not out of it. I believe that we are still living out the bible today. God gave us the gift of his word so that we could see how past tribulations have been handled through different cultures and times. From the Spanish Inquisition, to John Wesley, to modern times, God wants us to learn from the past and grow on it. It is much like a tree and its rings. The tree keeps growing off itself and adding onto the rings already laid down, not starting new trees, not erasing past rings, but building upon them.

These are the major things going on in my head currently. Like I said when I started this thread, this is my journey. I could be completely off, and I am open to that fact. I just want to be open with my thoughts and not stifle “different” thinking. By the way, I realize that my points kind of went beyond politics and into just my general orthodoxy. Sorry for the scatter-brained post.

Sun Kil Moon is way too good.

Whoa, I got this mobile blogging thing set up. That is what that picture is in the previous post. I am glad they finally released this feature.

I had a decent weekend. On Friday, my company hosted a holiday party. It was nice to get all dressed up and be “swank” for an evening. I will post a picture of my date and I later (Once I get the picture uploaded). On Saturday, I saw “Apocalypto”, the new Mel Gibson movie. It was spectacular. I was enthralled in the story all the way through. That evening, I went and watched Sean’s band Cameron at Bay. They killed it. By far the best band of the evening, I hope Sean and the guys keep plugging away at it, because they have a ton of potential. After the show I went to a lame party, and since I don’t drink much anymore, I pretty much just sat there and lurked..haha. Sunday, I went to church, Pastor Leech gave a great outline of the church’s vision. I am excited to be a part of Jubilee.

Two Sexxxy DOODZ